I know.

My sister walks into my Grammie’s room and sets her dinner plate on the table. She has the Oscars on.

“She just announced she’s pregnant,” she says, motioning to the woman on screen in a long red dress.

“I know,” my Grammie responds with a smile.

My mom walks into my Grammie’s room and sets a series of pills out for her to take.

“You have to take this one at 6 and this one at 9,” she says as she fills my Grammie’s cup with fresh water.

“I know,” my Grammie says flatly.

“Your mother in law is a kick,” the doctor says to my dad, motioning to room 2302.

“Oh, I know,” my dad says, shaking his head with a smirk.

“Grammie I hear all the doctors love you,” my brother says charmingly.

“I know,” she responds, slightly blushing.

“Kimberlee you’re so pretty.”

“I think it’s in our genes Grammie, we can’t help it.”

I know and I started it all!” my Grammie says as she tilts her chin up and curls her hair behind her ear.

There are things we know about this life, and things we don’t, though if you asked my Grammie she would disagree with the second part.

Among these things to know are two major components: the “what” and the “why”.

When we’re young and curious, both questions demand to be answered. They follow one another around in endless circles because everything is new and undiscovered. Every what unlocks a why and vice versa.

As we grow up, we find that the “why” is often more important. People get confusing and disappointing and amazing and inspiring. A what unlocks a why provoking endless rounds of how.

Over the past few years, as my Grammie’s health has continued to decline, my family has constantly tried to match the what with the why so we could take it to the doctors and find a solution. As time went on however, and things got worse, there was only so much we could expect to know, including the when.

And while we don’t know which day the when will come, at the end of each day that it doesn’t, and each day after, we can go to sleep knowing the only thing that’s really important:

“Alright we’re going to head home for the night Grammie, we love you.”

“I know it, I love you too.”


3 responses to “I know.”

  1. Beautiful! It reminds me of the days with my father!

  2. hugs to you and your whole fabulous family!! xoxo

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