For Anyone Else Who Has Bumped Their Head

2020 has been full of big, hard things.

But sometimes it’s the small, hard things, the trivial things, that make a particular moment, morning, or even a whole day feel like a real personal attack. 

For me, these are some of those things:

1) When you accidentally touch a button or a zipper on an article of clothing fresh out of the drier and feel as though a few layers of skin on your fingertips are fried off.

2) When you somehow only kick one of your toes into a table leg.

3) When you are told, “you look tired,” after getting up, getting dressed and going out to face the day.

4) When you arrive home only to realize you forgot the one thing you actually needed from the store.

5) When you bump your head on absolutely anything.

6) When you get stuck in traffic when you have to pee (or worse).

7) When you put your phone (or anything) on the charger when you go to sleep, only to wake up and realize you didn’t plug the charger in.

8) When you accidentally chew a pill you were supposed to swallow.

9) When you run out of things to say with someone you just met and end up just staring at each other with no way to escape and no memory of anything humans talk about.

10) When you step in a puddle…IN SOCKS.

11) When you drop something and then catch it with cat like reflexes, only to realize that no one saw it happen and that even if you told someone they would just give you a polite, “wow,” because that’s the best they can do, even though you know you deserve applause, ovations, and maybe even a contract with the NFL.

12) When you reach the point of chewing gum where it tastes like wet cardboard and then realize you have nothing or nowhere to spit it out.

13) When you take a big first sip of hot chocolate and burn your tongue, ruining both the hot chocolate and everything else you’ll eat and drink for the remainder of the day.

14) When you break something the day you bought it.

15) When you have a spotlight shine directly into the center of your eyeball, making it feel as though it pierced your brain.

16) When you get stabbed in the roof of your mouth by a tortilla chip.

17) When you are gifted a piece of clothing that you hate, but have to pretend you love it because you can tell by the look on the other person’s face that they really hope you love it, and then have to wear it once or twice afterward even though it makes you feel like a potato.

18) When you are carrying a bag or a purse on your shoulder and the strap gets hooked on a pole, car mirror, etc. and pulls you backwards so hard and unexpectedly that you fall down.

19) When you get into a car on a windy day and accidentally shut your hair in the door.

20) When you go to a restaurant solely to order that one thing, only to find out they took that one thing off the menu.

If you or any of your loved ones have been personally victimized by any of these moments, I am truly sorry. We will get through this.  

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