Kimberlee K.

In November of last year, I was about 90% sure that my word for 2024 was savor.

It had stood out to me after reading it in a newsletter, and even though it didn’t have that oomph that most of my words do—that shininess that makes me sure they are special—I hadn’t discovered any other word, so I was settled on it.

But then color entered the picture.

It was shiny, it was loud, it was saying NO, ME!!

But I was confused.

How could color be a devotional word? How could it be a tool God used to guide me through the year? Was I making it up? Was I trying to steer the ship? Did I just think color sounded fun, quirky, and easy?

I wrote it down tentatively, and then prayed for further confirmation.

At the time, I was listening to a lot of Lauren Daigle’s self-titled album. My sister had just had a baby, the holiday season was charging by at record pace, and this album seemed to center me, calm me, encourage me.

But somehow it took me forever to really look at the cover.

It seems…..colorful, wouldn’t you say?

Then I realized that one of my favorite songs on the album, “Kaleidoscope Jesus,” has a chorus that starts with, “How colorful the many ways you meet us…”

Okay, I thought. This is it, here we go.

Like any other word I’ve received, I wasn’t sure why “color” was meant for me—and why now. What could “color” teach me? And what did “color” mean in the context of my life?

Going into 2024, I was feeling optimistic.

Not only was I an aunt to a gorgeous baby girl, but I was going on a trip to Spain, I was part of the 100 Pages Movie project, I was more ready to be me—or to figure out who exactly that is—than I’d ever been, and I’d come out the other side of some hard changes and knew I was better for them.

Still, I was nervous. I was afraid to…exist—or perhaps just to exist wrong.

I had spent so long trying to figure out what people wanted/needed from me and shapeshifting with those changing requests. I’d lived a lot of my life with the dimmer switch on, as it felt safer for people to need to squint to see me, rather than risk being seen and not liked, seen and not understood, seen and not live up to expectations. I had settled into the shadows of those around me, afraid of the day they moved forward and left me in the bright sun.

But that’s exactly where I was.

My inner life was vibrant. I felt so deeply and was attuned to the colors that existed around me. But as I walked through the “year of color” I found that what God was doing in me was bringing color to my outer life, saturating me in that bright sun.

When I was little, I had these white tennis shoes that turned hot pink when you walked outside, and that’s what I felt like. Like my emotions, my colors, my heart were suddenly glowing, and people could really see me.

I didn’t magically become an extrovert or lose the anxiety that has always existed outside the context and safety of my family and friends, but little by little, I let myself be seen. I made new friends, I traveled new places, I tried new things. I was more honest, more vulnerable, more comfortable asking for help. I was more willing to be new, to be a beginner, to say, “I’m not sure.” I began to learn what colors I’m made of and at last found courage to let them shine—and more importantly, I realized that there are so many ways to shine. It’s not all loud and bright—you can be quietly vibrant, you can glow softly. What matters is that the colors are your own—that you’re not compromising who God made you to be in order to please the world—because God gave you those colors for a reason.

I’ll be the first to say that it is hard to let people see you, to let people leave you, to watch an opinion form about you, to see people misunderstand you, but it is a wonder to let people know you, and to hear people tell you things about yourself you might never have known if you didn’t step out into the sunlight—to show people all of your colors and watch them move closer to you rather than farther away.

God didn’t design us to be color changing sneakers that stay tucked away in the dark—he wants us to step outside and glow!

“Here’s another way to put it: You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept…If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine!” Matthew 5:14-16 (The Message)

Check out my previous words of the year: 

Give, Patience, Surrender, Shine, Faith, Start, Believe, Peace