So I’ve been sick the last couple days and have been a riot for company. Honestly I don’t know how my sister has handled all of my sitting and snotting and groaning. WHAT FUN.

That being said, in the moments when I’ve felt a little better, I made something possibly disgraceful and undoubtedly stupid in order to take my mind off of how utterly pathetic I am. Please accept my apology on both offenses early, because once you go beyond this point, things get weird.

Right, well, you’ve been warned.

As you can tell by the title, I’ve written a rap song or, more accurately, I’ve remixed a very popular Rap/Hip Hop song to fit my current situation. And while I can only hope that it leaves you in a peculiar state of confused awe rather than silent disgust, I make no promises.

So, without further adieu, let me present to you “Day&Nyquil Love”, the sick (pun intended) remix of Tupac’s Grammy nominated single, “California Love”.

*Cue music*
*Cue autotuned mic*

Day&Nyquil Looooove

Bright orange DayQuil…makes me less snotty
And dark green NyQuil…helps me get groggy

I feel shitaaayy, I have all day
I feel shitaaayy and sneeze a lot
I feel shitaaayy and keep on coughin’
I keep on coughin’, I keep on coughin’

Now let me welcome everybody to my comfy beige, couch
Where I spent all day freezin’, sneezin, crouched in a slouch
I got snot in my nose, I got snot in my chest
As far as popping decongestants yeah I’m one of the best
I’m in this white square house, where the sun can’t get me
Cuz my body temp’s already an alarming de-gree
And my sister keep on asking if I’m fine and dandy
Offering water and food, whatever I need handy
I been on this couch for 5 hours watchin’ reruns
I’m talking Friends’ early seasons
Now it’s 12:05 got a movie to watch me
Nose like Rudolph, tissues stacked high like Rockies
It’s allllll good, I got DayQuil on the way
That big ole pill’s the bomb, it’s about to make my day
So’s this episode of Chopped Food Network’s bout to play
Say it’s a marathon, don’t mind if I may

Bright orange DayQuil…makes me less snotty
And dark blue NyQuil..helps me get groggy
I feel shitaaayy I have all day
I feel shitaaayy I got snot
I feel shitaaayy and I keep coughin’
I keep on coughin, I keep on coughin’…..
*Mic drop*

If I were more daring and delirious, I would have made it into a YouTube video, but I’ve been running a consistent fever and wouldn’t want it to go viral. (HEYOOOO)