Kimberlee K.

I saw a sign the other day that said there are 75 days until Christmas. There are less now.

There are even less days until Hannukah or Halloween or Thanksgiving, and we all know an estimate of how far off our birthday is.

In my family, we’re counting down the days until our newest member is born.

And I personally can’t wait for 1989 (Taylor’s Version).

When I drive around, I see billboards with release dates of new seasons of my favorite tv shows and new movies I hope to catch in theaters, and the artists I follow on Instagram tease their new albums with a title and a date.  

I get my car washed at the beginning of every month.

I like to get my hair cut every 5-6 months.

I have a reminder on my phone to re-order certain medications and when to change my Brita filter.

I water my plants every Wednesday and do a face mask every Friday.

Vacations scatter the calendar and I countdown the weeks to make the workdays go faster, and I map out friends’ birthdays so I can send a card that gets there on time.

I have to pay that bill, I have to clean the bathroom, it’s been a while since I’ve dusted.

The spinach in the fridge is going bad, I defrosted that chicken two days ago, I wonder if those chips have gone stale.

Just a few days until Friday, just a few weeks until that holiday break, just a few months until my cousins visit from out of town.  

We are always waiting for something. Counting down the days to something. There is a never-ending stream of new, of coming soon, of stay tuned.

Is it any wonder our days can blend together? Our years?

We swing from countdown to countdown, commitment to commitment, trip to trip, movie to movie, album to album. Everything is always out of reach and everything is always passing us by.

Sometimes it is hard to find the joy in just another day. Because often today feels like a steppingstone to a different day. To the day. To the place you want to be. To the thing that will make everything feel better, at least for a little while.

I have to set my work alarm and then I have to get there on time and then I have to make dinner and then I have to get to bed early enough to wake up with my work alarm. Monday turns to Friday and then back to Monday and I only have to make it through three more Mondays until I get to ________.

In less than 75 days it will be Christmas, and then, suddenly, Christmas will be gone, a new year will start, and then a year will go by and I’ll find myself saying, once again, there are 75 days until Christmas.

It’s all passing by so fast and sometimes I worry that I’m missing a lot of the ordinary days because they just feel like things to get through, tasks to check off, an inching closer to where I really want to be, to the thing I’m really excited to do or have or see or hear.

Today is just another day and there are hundreds if not thousands of countdowns at play in my mind. There is a lot to look forward to in the future, but there’s also a lot to find right here.

Today is today, and I’m noticing it. I want to do that more often.