This was a unique year in goal setting for me, as I set quite a few that weren’t necessarily trackable—at least not by clear data. But I really enjoyed referring to this list and seeing the intangible things. They would tuck themselves into the back corner of my brain as helpful little reminders.
Overall, I’m very happy with the list I created, and I’m proud of my progress this year.
Here is my 2023 Goal Recap:
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1) Learn when to pause
Check! I have found that the ability to let silence sit rather than anxiously fill it can come naturally with more self-confidence. Historically, I’ve been terrified of silence in conversation because I thought it meant I was boring or inept, but it’s been refreshing to learn that silences are natural and can oftentimes deepen a conversation. Not every conversation is about being the wittiest, and not every question requires an immediate answer. Sometimes the best thing to do is pause, and I’ve found a lot of peace in pursuing this.
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2) Take another UCLA writing class
Check! In September, I took a two-day writing seminar on the UCLA campus and it was wonderful. I wrote this blog post about a listening habit I learned from the professor, and I have put a lot of new techniques and tips to use in my writing.
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3) Don’t always apologize
Check! A few things I worked on a lot this year were unlearning that I can exist incorrectly, that being emotional and vulnerable in front of someone is burdening, and that everything I say should be polished and perfect, unable to offend absolutely anyone. It’s a learning curve, and there were many text messages that I had to delete apologies out of before pressing send. But I also made a point to admit when I felt that itch to apologize and my friends and family were gracious enough to point out when that compulsion came from overthinking. This doesn’t mean I never do anything worth apologizing for, but it has helped me stop apologizing (as much) for merely being myself.
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4) Use my library card
Check! I borrowed a handful of books this year and it felt good to support my local library.
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5) Ask hard questions
Check! This goal was both to get more vulnerable with my friends and to provide that opportunity for them. In the past, I have often strayed away from deep points of conversation because even though I liked asking questions, I didn’t like that it opened a door to being asked questions. But this year I tiptoed towards vulnerability and I deepened a number of relationships.
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6) Take the train
Check! I took the train down to San Diego to see my best friend and her family in October and it was absolutely lovely! Not only was the ride beautiful—you spend a good chunk of time riding by the beach—but the train was quiet and I was able to bring my laptop and write for most of the ride.
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7) Move slow
Check! I made myself laugh with this one because I noticed multiple times when I was out and about that I was walking so fast. I was trying my best to do things as fast and efficiently as possible, often when I had no time crunch or other place to be. When I would catch myself power walking, I’d take a deep breath and force myself to move slower. Take your time, there is no rush.
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8) Break in my new hiking shoes
Check! I did a lot of hiking this year, which I loved. On weekend mornings I’d roll out of bed and walk the trail close to my house. I’d turn on a podcast or some worship music and I’d wave to all the familiar faces on the trail. Then I’d snap a picture at the top, take a souvenir rock, and make my way into the rest of my weekend. It was one of my favorite things this year and I did in fact break in my boots.
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9) Use better self-talk
Check! This had a lot to do with talking or writing out the bad self-talk, either in a journal or to a friend. By letting it out of my head, it lost a lot of its power. I also tried to do better at reframing things in my mind. While following a workout video recently, I saw an exercise that looked really difficult and I said, “Oh my gosh I’m going to be terrible at these!” But once I heard it out loud, I shook my head and said, “okay I got this, I’m doing my best, look at me go! We’re moving, we’re grooving, we’re trying!” Cheesy? Maybe. But I finished the video.
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10) Staycation
Since I was fortunate enough to do some traveling this year, I didn’t have a lot leftover (budget wise) to do a staycation. And that’s okay. I’ll do some more research into this one and plan it for another year.
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11) Assume people like you
Check! This is another one I’ve seen improvement in alongside newfound self-esteem. When you don’t believe you have anything to offer a conversation or interaction, you tend to immediately assume that the other person doesn’t like you or will find you uninteresting and unworthy of their time. I have longstanding friends that I have at times been afraid to hangout with because I can convince myself they might not actually like me. But this year I made an effort to put myself out there and trust that the people I have in my life want to be there, and if they don’t, they will show me.
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12) Log unplugged hours
At the beginning of this year I made a big show about tracking my hours. I made a spreadsheet, I wrote notes on what I spent the time off my phone doing, I was shooting for the stars. Then I just…stopped. I stopped tracking my hours and I had many ups and downs with my phone and social media in general. In October, I wrote out my 75 Kim workout plan and I limited my hours of scrolling between 8:00am – 8:00pm, and this seems to be working great. It gives my mind a good break from my phone before bed and allows me to remind myself that everything to see will be there tomorrow. So, not necessarily a check, but progress nonetheless.
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13) Say you’re welcome
I don’t remember this ever coming up this year. I might have gotten intrinsically better at it by simply putting it on this list or maybe it never came up. I don’t know. Either way, I’m considering it a check! because I didn’t find myself struggling with it.
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14) Compliment strangers
Check! On one of my morning hikes I walked by a woman and said, “I love your pants!” They were these fun, bright leggings with a unique pattern. She looked at me, shocked, and then said, “Me?! Oh my gosh, thank you!”
I could definitely stand to do this more, but even that small little moment was worth it.
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15) Do the Jar Full of Joy Challenge
Check! I edited this one shortly after the start of the year to be the “jar full of joy and peace” challenge, and I wrote down moments throughout the year that were joyful and peaceful. I put them in a vase on my dresser and I recently dumped them out and reread them. I shared a few in this List-cember post, and I hope to continue this habit next year.
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16) Be in more pictures
The wording was “more” pictures and for that I give myself a check! It’s still not *my jam* but I am doing better.
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17) Post monthly recaps
This was an easy breezy check! I loved putting together photo dumps on Instagram at the end of each month. Both to show my friends and family what I was up to, and to help me remember the big and small moments. If you need me I’ll still be out here, dumping.
Next Thursday, I’ll share what my goals for 2024 are!
Are you setting any goals for the new year?
Kimberlee K. 
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