Kimberlee K.

Since social media gives us access to nearly anyone and everyone at all times, and since so much entertainment and parasocial interaction comes from influencers, YouTubers, and other social media personalities, it is easy to form passing crushes on people day after day.

And I don’t mean romantic crushes, at least not typically, I mean friend crushes. People you tune into when you’re feeling low because they make you feel better. People that make you laugh, that you admire; people that feel like checking in with a friend, or an older brother or sister, people that inspire you to be your best self.

You know what I mean?

So here are five people I had a crush on this year:

1) Natacha Oceane

I came across Natacha’s channel by accident, when a video of her attempting an ultramarathon was auto-recommended to me on YouTube. I thought, sure, okay, that sounds impressive, and clicked play. Funnily enough, the video was not about Natacha completing the ultramarathon, but trying and failing three times. She was emotional and frustrated, but wanted to be honest about the experience, and I immediately thought YES. I LOVE THIS. Afterward, I went down a rabbit hole watching her videos and was amazed by how genuine and positive she is. As a biophysicist, she made it her mission to use her videos to break down myths about health, food, and exercise, and to spread healthier ideas about body image. I wish these videos could have been around when I was in high school and college, but I am also just happy that they exist now—that there are people out there turning the tides and promoting health and not just “beauty.” And while Natacha made the decision to step back from both YouTube and social media this year, I love knowing that she’s out there, somewhere, doing important work.

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2) Carmen Veal

I came across a video of Carmen doing her daughter Maddie’s hair and was instantly taken by the kind way they speak to each other. It’s clear that Maddie is picking up on the gentle, carring nature of her mom, but there is no doubt that she was also born with a genuine kindheartedness. Each video they decide how to do Maddie’s hair and have unfiltered conversations about struggles at school, how to treat others, and how to properly express your feelings. I feel like I learn just as much from Carmen as I do from young Maddie, and they are always brightspots on my social media feed. You can check out a recent video here.

*Wordpress wouldn’t let me post a picture from her Instagram, it’s possible she put a setting in place not to allow this because she shares a lot of content with her children*

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3) Emily Thorne

Looping back to another accidental but fruitful find on YouTube: Emily Thorne. Known as emkfit on social media, she posts HIIT dance videos that were some of my favorite forms of exercise this year. Similar to what I love about Jazzercise, Emily’s videos offer a “do what you can” approach, with her main mottos being, “fake it ‘til you make it” and “wrong and strong.” Her videos offer both high and low impact options, and she doesn’t shy away from calling out toxic thought patterns about body image—or leaving in clips showing her just as exhausted after each song as the viewer might be. She is another valuable internet friend that has encouraged me to have fun and love my body.

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4) Jessica Hamilton

And rounding out the ladies that inspired healthier thought patterns: Jessica Hamilton, a fashion influencer that posts videos recreating outfits trending online. Something I struggled with for a long time was just looking at my body and learning its size. I thought if I didn’t look, I couldn’t be disappointed. But in time I’ve realized how much that stole from me in terms of knowing my body, and of having fun creating outfits that I feel good in. Jessica is always honest about the use of “angles” on social media that can make people forget what real bodies look like, and reminds her viewers that bodies are all different! Again, it felt like finding a role model I’d been looking for for years—and I genuinely love her outfits.

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5) Emily Henry

Known in certain corners of the internet as “the queen” due to her wildly popular romance novels—the sixth of which is due out next year—Emily Henry has long been someone I’ve admired. This year I followed her on Instagram and subscribed to her newsletter, Emily’s Grocery List, and confirmed what I already hoped: that she’s just good people. And what I adore most about her is that she doesn’t seem to get caught up in the popularity of it all. While I’m sure she no doubt feels the pressure of her fanbase and works to ensure her writing remains at its best, she remains true to herself. She pops in once in a while to say hi, to tell you what she’s reading, to nerd out about Taylor Swift, but I don’t feel like I have to spend money to keep up with her. She embodies so much of what I strive for as a writer: someone that just puts their head down and enjoys the work. And while I don’t know if I could ever dream of finding the success she has, I think I’d be content pursuing what she seems to: work that she’s genuinely proud of, that she feels pours out of her, and that she just wants to share with the world. And I think that is what makes her the queen.

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I feel like each year I carve out my corner of the internet with a little more precision. I’m learning more and more of what I want to see when I scroll, and the kinds of people I know will inspire me to stop scrolling and do something more productive. People who make me feel good even amongst the sea of bad.

Author Jim Rohn once said, “you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” and I wonder if the same can be said about the people we’re following on social media.

If I am the average of these five women, I think I’d be okay with that.