10 Ways to Save the Earth (feat. Frozen Yogurt)

Hey fellow Humans,

I’m here today to talk about our collective Madre:  Earth.

Every April 22nd we celebrate Earth Day, on which we pay tribute to the big blue marble we call home. This may be a day when you do fun crafts in school or receive alarming threats from a passionate environmentalist outside a grocery store. It’s a day to breathe in the fresh air and say, “Hey planet, thanks for existing. PS- I promise I’ll do better at recycling.”

That being said I really do believe that it is in our power to help make the earth cleaner, better, and less likely to catch fire before the next Super Bowl. So, I’ve come up with 10 ideas as to how we can do that:

1) Attach two oxygen atoms to your feet the next time you go running, that way your carbon footprint becomes fresh air for trees. (Get it?! Carbon footprint + 2 oxygen atoms….carbon dioxide….I’ll see myself out.)

2) Stretch after you finish your lunch, that way you can carry your trash all the way over to the garbage can.

3) Turn off all the lights in your house immediately after the sun goes down and change into your night vision goggles. This will save electricity and make every evening task more exciting.

4) Arrange for you and your friends to carpool to get frozen yogurt. This will reduce fuel emission, and increase the satisfaction of your soul.

5) Turn down the water heater of everyone who has ever wronged you and leave a note that says, “Pass it on”. This will conserve energy and promote kindness among all those who looking to take non body numbing showers.

6) Add googly eyes to your blue recycling bin to make it look like Cookie Monster. This will not only be hilarious but will also encourage all children, teenagers, and adults under the influence of any amount of alcohol to recycle again and again.

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(image source: College Humor)

7) Install solar panels on your alarm clock and leave it in a dark corner of your room. This will use absolutely zero energy and require you to never wake up for work.

8) Visit your nearest farmer’s market to buy local produce. This will reduce your carbon footprint and up your chances of meeting a hot farmer that you can carpool with to buy more frozen yogurt.

9) Try composting and don’t be too ashamed if it totally grosses you out. Simply tell everyone that you tried it once and it didn’t work out, but you found 9 other ways great ways to save the environment from this incredible blog post you read.

10) Eat less meat. This surprisingly saves a wide variety of different resources and can also give you an out from the mystery meat your grandma asked you to pick up at the store. Sorry grandma, but the environment needs us.

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