Kimberlee K.

As stated in yesterday’s blog post, I recently watched the first three Star Wars movies, both to accomplish one of the goals I set for myself this year, and to, you know, catch up with the world.

Going into Episode V, I felt a little less like a rookie. I knew (most of) the characters and I had a better idea of who I was rooting for and who they were fighting against. Of course, this did little to quiet my mind when it came to actually watching the movie. I still had a lot to say, and most of it was on topic.

Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back 

• Okay, here we go.
• Hmm, we’re somewhere very cold.
• Hoth. I’m told we’re in Hoth.
• And Luke is going somewhere on his own? He must know this is a bad idea.
• What did I tell you Luke? You always have to bring a buddy. You never know when you’re going to encounter a yeti!
• There’s Han! Still handsome.
• Hey Han, Luke needs you.
• Wait, you’re leaving again? Please don’t go.
• Oh damn, Han is just leia-ing it out there from the Princess.
• Han: you love me
• Leia: No I don’t.
• Han: 
• I say you go for it, girl, he might be kind of douchey but at least he’s not your brother.
• Obi-Wan Kenobi! You’re back! At least in Luke’s fever dream you are.
• And you’re talking about Yoda! Listen to him, Luke. I have it on good authority that Yoda’s a good dude.
• Han found Luke! Yay! And he cut open a yeti creature thing and shoved Luke inside to keep him warm. That’s…friendship?
• Did Leo and the crew at The Revenant see this? Is this where they got the idea about that horse?
• “Laugh it up fuzzball” – Han.
• If only I knew a very sassy, hairy person I could say that to.
• I can’t decide if I’m more of a C-3P0 or an R2-D2. I’d like to think I’d translate gibberish for my friends whenever they needed me to (like C-3P0), but I also speak gibberish sometimes (like R2-D2).
• Some days I also think I could speak strictly in yells like Chewy.
• I’m going to say I’m a C-3P0 though. I can completely relate to his random spewing of fun facts and his constant state of anxiety. He might be my spirit animal.
• Does no one have motion sickness in space? It seems like these ship rides are pretty rough.
• FANGIRLING OVER YODA.
• Oh my gosh, everything he says is iconic.
• Yoda: *pulls ship out of space mud*
• Luke: I don’t believe it
• Yoda: This is why you fail
• GOOSEBUMPS.

• How are there not more t-shirts that say “YAASS YODA”
• Lesson Learned from Episode V: When needing to escape an enemy, float away like space garbage.
• NOOOOO! SEE-FREE-PEE-OHHH! My man is down. He is literally in pieces.
• Lando = scoundrel
• *watches Han get frozen* UM. WHAT.
• Leia: Luke it’s a trap! Don’t come! Seriously! You’re very important, don’t come! Darth is just trying to bait you!
• Luke: Be right there!

• I TOLD YOU HE WAS YOUR DAD LUKE.
• And I told you the dude was dark.
• Okay, I know this is traumatic news, but this is seriously no time to have a complete breakdown.
• The world is still falling apart and I need you to pull yourself together.
• …and there goes your hand. Okay, I know this is rough, but stay strong here buddy! Think about Leia! Actually don’t, she’s kind of hitting on your friend. But that’s good because remember, you’re siblings. But don’t think about that now! Think about Obi-Wan. And Yoda. They’re good guys.
• Well, Yoda isn’t actually a “guy” per se. I’m not sure what he is. But he’s awesome, that’s for sure!
• That’s right! Keep fighting Luke!
• Darth: Come to Daddy!
• One-Handed Luke: No!

• Did Luke just cannonball away from this duel? That’s pretty badass.
• Hey gang, Luke’s hanging from a weather vane over here, come give him a hand! Uh…sorry. Too soon.
• Ahh! My man C-3P0 is back. He’s not exactly in working condition. But he’s alive, that’s all that matters.
• We’ve got Luke. We’ve got the droids. We’re back at the base. Let’s all take a deep breath.
• Aww, look at you Luke. They were able to give you a *literal* hand. Happy for you bud.
• Also, shout out to Lando for not being 100% awful. You can join Kenobs in the “I trust you now club.”
• Alright peeps, next movie, we find Han!

Now read: Thoughts I Had While Watching Star Wars for the First Time: Episode VI