Kimberlee K.

Well, well, well, if it hasn’t been another 200 days.

Or, techinically, 400 days if you read #11.5, which confessed that I forgot to send myself a letter last time. My bad!

In the panic of realizing that I broke my streak, I filled out the questions back in April and mailed them off, and going into this week, I did not have a CLUE what I said.

It’s always fun to check in with past me. Sometimes she’s in a great mood, sometimes she’s in a terrible one, sometimes she throws in wildcards that I tend to *redact* from these posts.

For today’s letter, it seems as though past me was going through it.

The opening paragraph includes the following: “While doing my hair this morning I said, verbatim, ‘I want to scream.’”

So a quick moment of silence for her, who was obviously having a hard day. Also, a quick apology for laughing. It’s not funny, but also it is.

Let’s see what else I had to say 200 days ago.

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1) What day is it?

My answer from the last time capsule (4/1/24): April 1st, 2024

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2) Describe yourself today

My answer from the last time capsule (4/1/24): A little bit of a wreck, if I’m honest. The first thing I did this morning after I woke up was burst into tears. It’s just one of those days when everything feels heavy and hard and scary and I’m starting my period this week so everything comes with an added layer of intense emotion. So I’m not *thriving* per se, but I am here and I’m trying my best.

Hey girl, all we can do is try our best!

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3) What did you do today?

My answer from the last time capsule (4/1/24): It’s still early, but I’ve had a productive day so far that has included: crying, looking in the mirror while trying to put my hair in a neat ponytail and, upon failing multiple times, saying, “I’m going to scream,” listening to a chapter of an uplifting audiobook with a scowl on my face, and determinedly trying to sing worship music even though I’d rather crawl into a hole. And it’s only 10:30am!!!

The sass is high with this one.

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4) What’s your favorite song right now?

My answer from the last time capsule (4/1/24): “Too Good to Be True” by Kacey Musgraves (and anything off of Deeper Well, to be honest)
“we can’t be friends” by Ariana Grande
“So Sick of Dreaming” by Maggie Rogers

Delighted to report that I saw Kacey Musgraves in concert this month and it was PHENOMENAL. So shout out to past me for learning the lyrics so I could sing along.

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5) What’s the most recent movie you’ve seen?

My answer from the last time capsule (4/1/24): I just watched Good Will Hunting for the first time this past weekend and loved it!

Can confirm I loved it. Can also confirm I still have a crush on GWH era Matt Damon.

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6) Who did you last text and what did you say?

My answer from the last time capsule (4/1/24): “Earthquake?” to the family group chat, how very Southern California of me.

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7) What is your biggest goal right now?

My answer from the last time capsule (4/1/24): Honestly maybe to SET big goals. I’ve kind of shyed away from it lately as I’ve been feeling discouraged, so maybe the goal is to determinedly set more goals.

Loving this energy.

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8) What are you most excited about?

My answer from the last time capsule (4/1/24): Warmer weather.

Not sure if you can sense the doom tone in this short sentence but I can promise you it was written with absolute devastation over the nonstop rain we were getting. But now, like the seasonal hypocrite I am, I GIGGLED when I got to put a sweater on the other day. Such is the circle of life, I suppose.

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9) What are you most worried about?

My answer from the last time capsule (4/1/24): Today? Absolutely everything that has ever existed, will exist, and could exist.

Okay personally, crisis Kim is making me laugh. She may be hormonal and feeling completely out of control, but she’s got jokes.

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10) What’s the best thing you’ve eaten in the last 200 days?

My answer from the last time capsule (4/1/24): Maybe a churro when I was in Spain. One night we made a point to track some down and they made it worth the rainy walk home. Then we got more the next day and they were just as good.

I miss those churros so much.

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OKAY. So apparently April 1st was a bit dramatic. Happy to report I am not feeling quite so full of doom today, but it’s important to honor and be honest about those feelings when they arise.

I closed the letter with this:

I am tired and I am sad and that is today.

I hope this letter finds you on a better day, in a better headspace.

I love you and I’m rooting for you.

No matter what, always keep rooting for you.

I am!

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You can check out this post to find out how you can create your own time capsule.

Our next delivery date is: May 9, 2025!

As usual, I will excitedly await the arrival of this next time capsule and the future it lives in, but I won’t rush towards it. Here’s hoping there’s lots to enjoy between now and then.