slang

Learning Internet Slang (Part 2)

Back in June, I posted this blog where I had my sister, Natalee, and my parents guess the definitions of some popular slang words. It was an educational experience for all. So much so that I thought we should do it again.

Gotta keep up with the times, you know?

Here’s how they did:

1) Sus

Urban Dictionary Definition: short for suspect; suspicious

Natalee’s Guess: I think it means, that’s what’s up. Like, you wanna tell me I have tacos tonight? Sus.

Dad’s Guess: Short for suspect, like when a kid is talking in code and says, “I think my parents sus me.”

Mom’s Guess: I went for: “seems you suck.” S.U.S.

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2) Shoot your shot

Urban Dictionary Definition: to take a chance no matter if your fail or not, especially regarding someone you’re interested in.

Natalee’s Guess: Go for it, bro. Shoot your shot. Live your life. Get your dreams.

Dad’s Guess: Hit me with your best shot. Whatever you throw at me, I can take it.

Mom’s Guess: Tell me your opinion, let me know what you think.

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3) Tea

Urban Dictionary Definition: gossip or personal information; the scoop; news.

Natalee’s Guess: gossip. Like, that’s the tea. That’s the word on the street.

Dad’s Guess: Awake.  Like I’m still on the tea. Or if you were drunk you’d say,  “I can’t drive, I’m still on the tea.”

Mom’s Guess: I think it’s like saying, “got it.” We’re gonna go down to the shore and fish? TEA.

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4) Receipts

Urban Dictionary Definition: evidence or proof, often in the form of screenshots.

Natalee’s Guess: I’ve heard this and I know Taylor Swift talked about this but I don’t actually know what it means. In the song she sings they got their receipts and reasons” so I’m going to say facts, but not actual facts. Evidence.

Dad’s Guess: I think it means I understand. If someone told you they weren’t interested, you would say I totally understand, receipts.

Mom’s Guess: Taking it all in. Receipts. Got it.

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5) Bae

Urban Dictionary Definition: abbreviation for “before anyone else”; baby; sweetie.

Natalee’s Guess: I know what this one stands for but I said before anything else, because I like to associate it with more than humans. For example, Laycee (our family dog) is my bae.

Dad’s Guess: Boyfriend or husband. I would be mom’s bae.

Mom’s Guess: It means before all others, right? Bae? Wait. No. Before…all…wait I have to know it now. Before anyone else! That’s it!

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6) Thirst Trap

Urban Dictionary Definition: a sexy photograph or flirty message posted on social media with the intent of causing others to publicly profess their attention.

Natalee’s Guess: When you’re trying to get at someone. Like posting a dirty picture to get someone to pay attention to you. 

Dad’s Guess: A bar. Like if you were driving around you might say I’m going to stop at the first thirst trap I see.

Mom’s Guess: I said the same thing: a bar!

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7) Throwing shade

Urban Dictionary Definition: to diss someone without actually saying their name but making it obvious who you are talking about.

Natalee’s Guess: Insulting someone. I’m coming for you because I don’t like you. You have a dumb face. OOH, shade was thrown.

Dad’s Guess: Talking shit behind someone’s back. As in, why is Natalee throwing so much shade at me?

Mom’s Guess: Talking crap.

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8) Yeet

Urban Dictionary Definition: an exclamation used to express excitement; a word one may scream while propelling an object through the air at alarming speeds and heights.

Natalee’s Guess: I’m sorry, what? I have no idea. Maybe drugs? Like, “hey you got any yeet on ya? Can I score some yeet?”

Dad’s Guess: Yeah, I’m stumped on this one. Is it when you eat when you’re not hungry? I’ve been yeeting all day for no reason.

Mom’s Guess: A teenager that’s trouble. That one’s a yeet.

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9) Gucci

Urban Dictionary Definition: a versatile slang term based on the luxury fashion brand meaning okay/good/great/awesome/fresh/etc.

Natalee’s Guess: It’s all good. What’s Gucci? What’s good? What’s cracking?

Dad’s Guess: If you’re wearing it and it’s Gucci, it’s expensive. This belt is totally Gucci.

Mom’s Guess: I thought similar to dad. If you’re talking about somebody and say “oh, she’s Gucci,” it means she’s rich.

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10) Finna

Urban Dictionary Definition: abbreviation for “fixing to”. Normally means “going to”.

Natalee’s Guess: Trying to. Like I’m finna get full on tacos tonight.

Dad’s Guess: You completed your task, whatever it might have been. If you wanted to get drunk and you did, you’d say, I’m finna drunk. 

Mom’s Guess: She’s finna. As in, she’s fake, she’s plastic, she’s not real.  

Words I Made Up (feat. shoxigen)

Being a creative type, sometimes almost to a fault, I tend to like to make stuff up. Whether that be a new craft, a new snack, or most commonly, a new turn of phrase. I love finding my own way to describe things because it’s often the only way my crazy, weird brain can truly and happily express itself.

Now, I spend a lot of time driving for my job, giving me plenty of time to create such things, and today I’d like to share some of them with you in the hopes of expanding your vocabulary a little bit. To make it a little weirder, a little more stylish. That way, when these terms sweep the nation, you’ll be far ahead of the curve and even farther ahead of the “kids these days”, slinging this slang like you were born to do it.

 

1) Shoxigen (shawks-i-jenn) n.– the type of air you inhale when surprised.

I get really into books and movies and really any colorfully adjectived story told by anyone and everyone, thus making me a common gasp-er. And for anyone like me—or anyone who has ever gasped before, ever—you’ll know that a gasp is far different than the average breath. The air comes in much faster, sometimes too fast, causing you to choke, making it a gasp/choke combo, delaying the rest of the reaction to whatever it was that surprised you, because you, as well as any other parties involved, are now concerned that you’re dying. That being said, I like to call the air involved in this gasp shoxigen, because it’s essentially a cloud of O2 that you didn’t see coming.

 

2) Palm Treeson (palm tree-son)* n.

My parents’ house is right around the corner from a popular fast food restaurant and there have been so many times when I’ve seen people park on the street after ordering at the drive-thru, and then throwing their trash out the window as they drive away. It’s appalling! I mean, what is the reasoning here? Are you that disgusted by what you ate that you immediately want to hide the evidence from yourself? Or are you such a neat freak that having trash in your car for single second longer than necessary makes you want to pull your hair out? Either way, I think you need counseling. And discipline. Which is where palm treeson comes in.

*See, palm treeson is a double whammy, it deals with both parties involved in a specific scenario. In the annoyed patron vs. litterer situation, the litterer would have committed palm treeson by littering, thus committing a crime against nature (nature = palm trees = palm treeson, get it?), causing the annoyed patron to commit palm treeson by delivering a swiftly timed, perfectly aimed, fully palmed slap across the litterer’s face…you know…because they committed palm treeson.

 

3) Exslursize (ex-slur-size) v.– to exercise while drunk.

When I drink I tend to talk more than usual. It’s like alcohol acts as the key to every story I normally—and understandably—would keep to myself, and suddenly I’m sure everyone I’ve ever met wants to know anything and everything I’m thinking. Another immediate result of alcohol, at least for me, is the need to move. I’m already a bit of a squirmer when I have to sit for long periods of time, and when I drink, it gets even worse. Suddenly I want to dance, I want to jump, I want to show you what an article online described to me as “the correct way to forward lunge.” It may not be exactly clear why I want to show you these things, or why I need to pace around the room for a hot second, but you can pretty much bet that if I need to, I will.

 

4) Carbrrrhater (car-brrr-hate-er) n.– an owner of a car who grows angry when it takes too long to warm up in the winter months.

Being from Southern California, I know I have no right to really say anything about being “cold” in the winter. I’m perfectly aware that I was born a wimp and will forever be a wimp, so please don’t come for me. I know the rest of the United States and a large part of the world go through hell during the winter months and I respect you and all of your suffering. Regardless, every winter I still find myself shiver-cursing at my heater to hurry the hell up and warm my baby hands! Do I do so after scraping ice off my windshield or shoveling my driveway? No, meaning I often do it with far more shame than the average carbrrrhater, which I think makes us at least kind of even.

 

So there you have it, a look into the confines of my brain. These are the things I’m thinking about when a driver passes me on the freeway and it looks like I’m catatonic. I swear I’m paying attention, I just also happen to be in the middle of creating the next great POS.

Wait, no.

I meant Part of Speech. The next great part of speech.

See, this is what I meant by “creative to a fault.” Not everything needs a cool abbreviation, Kim.