valentines day

A Lesson In Love from Mr. & Mrs. Day (Repost)

I recently came across this story, and thought it was the perfect time to repost. I wrote it in October of 2015, but I still think about it often. It’s a real life love story, one we could all learn something from.

Sending you all lots of love this week!

My Grammie lived with my family for a few years before she was transferred to a nursing home. The adjustment was hard for her, especially due to the new presence of a roommate, but she understood the necessity, as her health had begun to rapidly decline.

Her room was set up with two beds arranged parallel to one another, divided by a curtain. Her roommate was by the door, and my Grammie was by the window, which she liked, because the sun shone in and warmed her cold skin during the day.  One afternoon, as my mom walked down the hall, she saw a man in the doorway, sitting in a chair beside the roommate’s bed.

“Hello,” she said warmly as she approached him.

The man immediately jumped up from his seat to greet her, extending his hand kindly.

“Hello ma’am,” he said, “my name is Mr. Day and this is my wife.” He gestured to my Grammie’s roommate. “I just want you to know that I will be looking out for your mom, Miss. Patricia, here. I will make sure she is taken care of and is as comfortable as possible.”

A few days later, when I made my first visit to the nursing home, I took a seat next to my Grammie’s television and watched the sunbeams shine in through the window and across her freckled arms. She said she felt pretty good that day, that her breathing was better and she had an appetite again. My mom asked about her physical therapy, and my sister talked about the talent show our brother was in over the weekend. As they talked, I glanced down at the dresser next to the television, noticing a few cards and a teddy bear holding a puffy, red, “get well soon” heart in its arms. Being nosy, I flipped open the tag attached to its ear and read the kind handwritten note addressed to a name I didn’t recognize. I then inched each of the cards ajar and noticed they too shared the same recipient, though according to the dates inside, some were given four or five years ago.

On my next visit, as my mom and I were en-route to the window side bed, she saw the familiar figure sitting in the chair by the doorway. When we reached him, Mr. Day again jumped up with haste to greet us. It was my first time meeting him, and as he shook my hand he said, “You know you look exactly like your mother.”

That day, as my mom and I visited, I watched Mr. Day out of the corner of my eye. He sat, very content, next to his wife’s bed, watching football and holding her hand. My mom had told me his story on the drive over.

Nine years. Nine years he’d been doing this. Almost an entire decade. Mrs. Day had a stroke in her mid-50s, and was later diagnosed with both Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s disease. For nine years he had come to visit her, knowing she would lay there asleep, being fed through a tube. There were so many things he could be doing, so many places he could be seeing, yet there he was beside her, as he’d always been.

What a love they must have had, I thought; though it was clear that to him it did not live in the past. This woman, even while held in the clutches of tubes and wires, was still the woman he married, the woman who held his heart.

I thought of what my Grammie had told my mom the day before.

“Her feet kick,” she’d said.

“What do you mean?” my mom asked.

“When he talks to her. She kicks her feet when she hears his voice.”

Oh what a love they still have, I thought.

He, who has every reason to feel trapped or angry or resentful, looks at her like his own perfect Sleeping Beauty, and she, who has every reason to let go, holds on to hear that voice she knows so well. For even in the worse, they still find a way to keep the vow from the better.

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Just a Little Valentine’s Day Reminder

Today is just a day.

And no matter if you love it, hate it, celebrate it, skip it, or just now remembered it’s anything more than a Thursday, I hope you know that you are loved.

You are loved.

You are important.

You are worth appreciating.

So no matter how you spend today, tomorrow, and every day after, if it makes you feel like the diamond crusted, chocolate covered, rose petaled, champagne fountained person you deserve to be, you’re doing it right.

(Figuratively) Cheesy Gift Ideas for Valentines Day

Growing up, my parents were never big on celebrating Valentines Day, which, in turn, rubbed off on me. I get the hype however, the grand gestures and big confessions and all that. I understand the courage that comes alongside enormous teddy bears and cheesy balloons. But I also understand my parents’ theory, and I whole-heartedly believe that you should always make an effort to show people that you love them, and it doesn’t have to be on a specific day of the year, in a fancy restaurant, sweating, and wondering how you’re going to afford anything you order.

That being said, if you are someone who loves celebrating Valentines Day, or someone who is in a relationship with someone who loves celebrating Valentines Day, making you a participant by default, here are some gift ideas. The way I see it, every gift can be made better with cheese. Not physical, edible cheese (though I don’t see how that could make any gift worse), more the emotional, “awwwww” type of cheese. The metaphorical mozzarella, if you will. So, I’ve come up with 4 gift ideas full of cheese, in case you’re in an inspirational pinch.

Disclaimer: As stated before, these are cheesy and cliché and more than a little dumb. But, if executed correctly, on a party that loves and cares about you, they should undoubtedly receive an eye roll, an attempted glare, and then a damnit-I-can’t-help-it-I-love-you smile. (The best kind.)

 

1) The Apple

You know the old phrase, “You are the apple of my eye”? (I told you we were getting cliché.) Well, that’s where we’re going with this one.

What you will need:

  • 2 apples*
  • 2 bows

Execution: After applying the bows, hold the apples behind your back as you approach your loved one. When they become confused enough to say, “what do you have behind your back?” reveal the apples, place them in front of your eyes and proclaim the cliché in all its glory.

For added effect: Do it on one knee. This will spark an initial, “wtf are you doing right now?!” Making your actual gift a healthy combination of relief and the eye roll + glare + damnit-I-can’t-help-it-I-love-you (DICHILY, pronounced ditch-illy) smile sandwich.

*You have two options when it comes to the apples: real or fake. Real ones will provide each of you with a tasty snack post-gift, and fake ones will instantly be immortalized as cheesy, yet helplessly adored paper weights/relationship trinkets. Your call on that one.

 

2) The Gesture

What you’ll need:

  • A card, preferably homemade
  • A good stretch, probably.

Execution: First, you need to make the card, as its contents are crucial. Don’t get too crazy over it being perfect. Just find a nice piece of cardstock and fold it in half. Now, on the front, write, “I’d bend over backwards to make you smile…” and on the inside, write, “Literally.” Now, stretch those legs, and those arms, and that back, breathe in and out a few times, and then deliver the card to your loved one. When they read the front, take another deep breath. Then, as they open it, say a small prayer and all at once Simone Biles yourself into a full on backwards swan dive/possibly injury induced back flop (depending on your flexibility). It’s the effort that counts.

 

3) The Substitute

Sometimes things get crazy, be it work, school, or any number of other uncontrollable factors, and you are unable to have that special night with your loved one. Fear not, there is a cliché for that.

What you’ll need:

  • A cake (store bought or homemade, your choice)
  • Readable penmanship (or that which you can purchase)

Execution: Depending on the time you have available to you, either make or buy a cake and have it iced with a very specific message. One that will let the person know they deserve it all: “You can have it & eat it too.”

For added effect: Add some Seuss mozzarella (a rare brand): “You can have it & eat it too, see you soon, I love you.” (Apologies to the lactose intolerant community, even I felt the after effects of that one.)

 

4) The Big Move

If you happen to be one of those people who are hoping to use this Valentine’s Day to pop the question, this one’s for you.

What you’ll need:

  • A sample of turf
  • A diamond ring

Execution: When the moment is right, get down on one knee and reach into your pocket, where you’ve stored the turf sample, and present it to your loved one on a flat palm. This will probably confuse them, but don’t fret. Now reach into your other pocket, where you’ve stored the ring, and place it atop the turf sample. This will probably make them go back to their initial plan: crying, though the confusion will still linger in their eyes, which is where the big line comes in: “You are a diamond in the rough,” followed by an array of personal anecdotes that can be concluded with the ultimate question.

For added effect: Ensure your significant other will understand a good golf pun. Or, as an alternative: just watch Aladdin the day before and explain the whole turf thing later.

 

However, whenever and if-ever you celebrate it, I wish you a Happy Valentines Day. May the DICHILY smiles run strong.