new years

3 People to Look For in the New Year (List-cember #9)

When I am out doing errands, or making a delivery for work, or on a walk around my neighborhood, or just out doing whatever, I see all kinds of people. We all do.

When we go out into the world, we put our lives on a collision course with so many other lives. Sometimes I even get a little overwhelmed at just how many other lives are being lived alongside mine—some I’ll never know a single thing about.

It is easy to pass by people and never know a thing about them. It is also easy to figuratively walk by the people actually in our lives, to hold them at a distance and keep everything on the surface. It is easy to get wrapped up inside ourselves, in our fears and stresses, in our schedules and chaos. It is easy to focus our attention on the things we’re “told” to pay attention to. To follow the trends, to stay in “the loop”, to join the traffic.

There are so many people in this world, so many lives trying to be lived, and none of them are easy. But the one thing we all have in common is that we’re all trying our best, on our first try, and we’re making do with what we’ve been given.

We are each other’s best allies, and each other’s worst enemies.

So, in this new year, let’s look out for each other. And even more, let’s look for each other. Let’s notice one another.

In this new year, let’s look for these three people:

1) People who need grace

Whether I’m driving and I get cutoff, or I’m walking and someone rushes past me, bumping me in the process, or someone just gives me a little attitude, I have noticed that I’m quick to think, “UMM, EXCUSE ME!” Because yes, we all deserve respect. And when I’m minding my own business and someone appears to be asking the world to treat them like they are the most important person, I want to protest. I want to honk my horn or roll my eyes or say something just as rude back to them. Because yes, some people do believe they are more important than everyone else. Some people DO deserve the eye rolls, the honks and the reality check. But some people might be having the worst day of their lives. Some people might be in a hurry to get to a loved one that’s in trouble. Some people feel like their lives are spinning out of control and they are not even aware that they are treating the people around them inconsiderately. Those people don’t need more piled on their plate. They don’t need guilt, shame, or unkindness shoved in their face. They need grace. They need prayer. They need someone to let it slide and to give them kindness that they might not even deserve in that moment.

2) People who need help

We all live chaotic, busy lives. We all have about 50 things we’re thinking about at a time. We are all tackling different emotions, different losses, different challenges, every single minute of every single day. Some people find it to be too much and they ask for help. But some people are wandering around with a weight on their shoulders they don’t know how to remove. Some people think asking for help is putting that weight on someone else’s shoulders. Some people think they don’t deserve help. So let’s look for those people. Let’s be the light that shines into their darkness. It doesn’t take big gestures or knowing exactly what to say, sometimes it just takes one person noticing. One person looking out for another person. One person extending their hand and saying, let me help.

3) People with good intentions

In our world, there are a lot of things that still need correcting. There are still injustices, discrimination, and outright hatred taking place all around us, and there are people trying to weed those things out to make the world a better place. But there are also people who are determined to bring to light every single mistake every single person makes. There are people waiting in the wings to “cancel” other people. There are people who not only take pride but delight in finding fault in others. No one is perfect. No one will ever be perfect. We are all learning how to do life each and every day. We are all learning to be better people. But tearing down others will never make us better people. Destroying people who have made mistakes, who dared misstep, misspeak or misunderstand will not make us better people. We need to stop looking at people under a microscope, ignoring context, growth, or the basic differences created from different life experiences. We need to stop looking—HOPING—for the bad in people that can be turned into clickbait, and start again looking for the good in people. To bring intention back into the conversation. To notice when something done or said was with actual malice, or whether you, I, we’ve decided to interpret it as such simply because it would generate harsh conversation, clicks, and a reason to be angry. Modern technology has taught us to have a short attention span, a need for continuous gratification, an insatiable impatience—let’s not let that carry over into our relationships. Let’s attempt to understand each other rather than race to ruin each other. Pause and listen, pause and watch, remember that we are all living different lives and we only know the ins and outs of our own. Look for the intention. Let that be the loudest.

Wishing you all a happy and healthy New Year.

May we all look out for each other in 2023.

You can find more List-cember posts here.

5 Things to Wish for at Midnight (List-cember #9)

Well my friends, we have made it! Against all odds, we have made it to the last day of 2020. The final hours of a trying, brutal, relentless year that none of us saw coming. And now we are going to start something new. It might not look new, it might not look easy, and unlike many New Year’s Eves, the strike of midnight might not look exactly magical. But I don’t think that should sway us from counting down, setting goals, or making wishes for a fresh start.

In fact, I feel it is more important than ever to make those wishes this year, not only for ourselves but for the world as a whole. So as those final seconds start to countdown on the clock, here are five things we can all wish for:

1) Unity

One of the most common phrases we heard throughout 2020 was “we’re all in this together.” And while there were many instances where I saw this to be true, there seemed to be many more where it was clear that it wasn’t. This year brought a lot of panic, a lot of fear, a lot of hard, and a lot of new into focus, so it was understandable the way tensions rose. But never have I seen such clear division, constant hate, and widespread loneliness caused by fear of saying the wrong thing, holding the wrong opinion or having a moment’s hesitation. I think there are a lot of positive changes being made in the world, and there are a lot of long overdue conversations taking place, but I also feel like there is a lot of impulsive cancellation and condemnation rather than encouraged understanding and hopeful redemption. Let’s hope for real unity in the year(s) to come. Unity that is built on differences and two sided conversations. Unity that is not eradicated by conflict but made stronger because of it. Let’s truly find a way to be “in this together” and rebuild a better world.

2) Innovation

Even with all the restrictions in place this year, there was still a heft amount of innovation. Doctors found ways to treat and help countless patients. Families found ways to celebrate special occasions with Zoom, drive by parades, and handwritten letters. Online campaigns brought attention, help and joy to those in need with fundraising, collaborative projects and acts of kindness. I remember very early on a girl made the news by designing clear masks that made it possible for the deaf and hard of hearing to better communicate. People found ways to make life easier, more efficient, and sometimes even more fun while the world moved slowly and frightfully into the ever-winding turns and peaks of COVID-19. Let’s hope that this new year will only bring more innovation and more ideas that have never seen the light of day. Let’s hope we all find ourselves sitting, awed, and saying, “wow, I never thought of that!”

3) Creativity

When I think of creativity, especially this year, I think of someone like Taylor Swift, who leaned into the confines of quarantine and wrote two albums. Granted, this is some next level kind of creativity, and not one that we should all measure ourselves against. It is hard to be creative in a time when you can’t travel, can’t see friends and family, can’t do much more than stay inside your own home. But there are moments we all experience, little ideas, in any and all genres, that poke at the back of our minds and say, try this. Sometimes those ideas are only for us, sometimes they find a home outside ourselves and make the world a better place. So let’s hope that creativity is stirred and that we are brave enough to answer the call. Let’s hope that creativity runs wild in this new year and that we see great, new, wonderful things.

4) Kindness

I often find myself saying (or thinking to myself), “it is so easy to be kind.” And while this is true, it is not always easy to want to be kind—especially when the world is seemingly falling apart around you. Still, kindness can go a long way. It can mean everything to the right person in the right moment. So let’s hope that more people (including ourselves) find that want to be kind in the new year. Let’s hope that when we reach those crossroads—perhaps on a daily basis—we try harder to take that extra second to be kind.

5) Patience

What we might need more than anything in this new year is patience. While there is a lot of positive progress being made, the world is not going to go back to normal overnight, or any time in the immediate future. And even though sometimes it seems impossible to live in this version of our world for another year, another few months, or sometimes even just one more day, we need to find it within us to be patient. Be patient with the doctors who are trying their best day in and day out, be patient with the first responders and frontline workers who put themselves as risk each and every day, be patient with your friends and family who might have different fears or opinions than you, be patient with yourself and the ups and downs of emotions that don’t seem to quit. Be patient with 2021, it is a new year, with new possibilities and each day has the chance to be something special.

Happy New Year!

Check out more List-cember posts here.

How to Start Your 2018 Off Right (Before it Starts) (List-cember #6)

With the New Year RAPIDLY approaching I have been going through my usual routine—which mostly consists of muted panicking. January 1st comes with a lot of nerves and pressure, as well as excitement and freedom. And while it’s important and fun to embrace the New Year after the clock strikes midnight, there are also a few things things you can do beforehand that can make that tick tock more relaxing than taxing.

1) Unsubscribe

If you spend a lot of time online, whether it be for work or leisure, or if you’ve done a lot of your Christmas shopping from the comfort of an internet window, chances are you’ve found yourself subscribed to a lot of newsletters/company coupon strands that you have no interest in. And while it’s easy to just delete these and move on with your day, there is real benefit in taking a few extra seconds and unsubscribing. Not only will it declutter your email, but it will also remove the temptation that comes with all those FLASH SALE emails. Trust me on this one, just scroll to the bottom of the email, click unsubscribe and regain some of your freedom.

2) Clean!

I am very much like my mom in that few things leave me quite as satisfied as a clean house. And with the holidays in full swing I have some upcoming days off, so I’ll most likely spend a good chunk of those days doing all the cleaning I’ve been procrastinating on. But what if I did it early? What if I put aside some extra time on these days leading up to the off days, so that when the off days arrive I can spend far more time sitting on the couch in my sweatpants? Call me crazy but more time in sweatpants = a more satisfying holiday = a better attitude upon returning to work after the holidays = a better employee = endless raises, etc. etc. I’m just spitballing here.

3) Trash/Donate

This can more or less go alongside cleaning, as it’s possible it might happen organically if you get into one of those intense cleaning modes. But don’t just clean everything, go through it. Go through your closet and your bookshelves and your desk. Clean out your refrigerator and your garage and your car. Then trash the broken and old and donate what’s ready to be loved by someone else.

4) Change Your Alarm

I admit it. I am a huge “hit snooze-er” when it comes to my alarm in the mornings. Over the last few months, I don’t think there’s been a single day that I didn’t do it at least once. That being said however, it has been brought to my attention that you actually wake up more tired when you hit snooze. Not to mention you (or maybe just I) usually end up hitting snooze a few more times than you (I) should, so you (I) end up rushing around the house trying to get to work on time. SO, in the interest of being honest with myself (i.e. accepting the fact that I’ll probably never kick the habit of hitting snooze) but still hoping to make an improvement, I am going to set a second, different, alarm that gives a “HEY KIM, YOU CAN’T CLICK SNOOZE ANYMORE” type of signal. That way I can at least keep track of where I am in snooze time, and will have to try a little harder to oversleep.

5) Stock Up

You know how lines at department stores and grocery stores tend to grow at the speed of Pinnocchio’s nose around the holidays? You know how spending time in those lines is arguably one of the worst ways to spend your holidays? Right, so let’s do our best to avoid that. Let’s stock up on the necessities: toilet paper, laundry soap, Oreos, etc. This will save us from the early morning/late night “can you go to the store real quick, pleeeeease” arguments and include us in more of the “how many marshmallows should we put in our hot chocolate?” debates.

6) Set Goals

More than anything, a new year gives us a fresh start. We get a new calendar year, with holidays waiting to be celebrated and seasons to waiting to take shape. It’s hard not to feel inspired to make some changes. So I encourage you, go with that inspiration! Make a list! Be daring, be creative and be specific. It’s so easy to make vague resolutions that are ultimately unsatisfying because they have no framework. Use numbers, details, and blueprints. Give your self time limits and then go for it!

(Also, if you’re interested, you can check out this post for some tips on setting goals, and this post to see the 17 goals I set for myself this year)

I wish you a wonderful end to your 2017 and an inspirational start to your 2018!

5 Steps to Setting Goals for the New Year (List-cember #8)

Can you believe we’re already in the last week of December?! Every year it seems like the day after Thanksgiving we start powering forward towards Christmas, putting every drop of our energy into all that it entails, and then suddenly it’s over and we’re sitting on December 26^th like, “what do you mean the year is over in 5 days?”

To make matters more stressful, with the end of one year comes the beginning of a new year, and all the pressure associated with that. How can I make the coming year better than the last? What can I change? What can I cut out? What dance move do I need to learn?

It’s a lot to think about.

So, for this second to last installment of List-cember, I give you the 5 steps to setting goals for the New Year.

1) Set Goals, Not Resolutions

At the beginning of this year, I wrote this post after being inspired by another blogger to no longer make New Years Resolutions. In her post, she explained why it is important to instead set goals, as they are specific and concrete (i.e. read 30 books) while resolutions are much more vague (i.e. read more). The article really struck a chord in me and immediately after reading it, I wrote a list of goals for the year. As it turned out, the blogger was right. Having my goals spelled out in front of me made it easier to achieve them. I had numbers and dates involved and that gave me much-needed deadlines. It also prevented me from finding loopholes. With “read more” I could have rationalized any number as the “more”, while “read 30 books” (which by the way was actually on my list) is pretty bulletproof. (Ps- I did end up reading 30 books)

2) Pick absolutely anything

Your goals are just that, your goals. Don’t let anyone else tell you what they should be and don’t be ashamed of anything you want to throw on that list.

3) Don’t be so serious

Piggy backing off of #2, goals don’t always have to be these deep, philosophical creatures. When I was trying to get ideas for my list, I started sifting around for inspiration and kept finding these vague, heavy statements like “love more” or “attract more positivity”. And while those are great, and in some cases very necessary for someone looking for a fresh start, I didn’t feel like I really connected to any of them. At first this worried me. Does this mean my list is stupid? No! It just means the list is mine.

4) Find a balance between challenging and achievable

To give you a sports metaphor: think of Michael Phelps, a.k.a the greatest Olympian of all time. He set incredible goals for himself, many of which he appeared to achieve. This is because he found that balance. He was always pushing himself to do more, while still respecting what was possible. Imagine if his goal would have merely been to “make the swim team” or if it was to “win gold in every single swimming event at the Olympics.” He would have never become the champion he is today. This is why that balance is so important, it gets you in tune with what you are capable of, and even more, what you can be capable of if you put in the work.

5) Go for it

Once you set your goals, get after them! Don’t feel like you have to wait for anyone’s permission. Don’t even make yourself wait for January 1st! Just go for it. Achieve achieve achieve and then set more goals and start all over.

What’s on your list this year?

Miss a List-cember post? Find them all here.

Streaky Mirror New Year

A few weeks ago I went on a completely compulsive cleaning binge; not one inch of the house was spared. I mopped floors, I washed dishes, I dusted dressers, I scrubbed toilets, all of it, and once I finished, I sat down on the couch and let out a long, satisfied sigh.

Later when I went to shower off the week’s worth of dust and dinge, I noticed the horrifically streaked bathroom mirror that hung above my sparkling clean counters.

How could I have missed this?

For a moment I considered stomping back downstairs to grab the Windex, but I was already exhausted so I just wet some toilet paper, wiped down the mirror, and smiled at myself in its newly clean surface.

Over the last week or so, there has been a lot of talk about a “deep cleaning” going on around the world, though for the most part it’s a completely different kind. With the new year finally ringing in, people everywhere are promising this and swearing that, so they might find themselves in better physical and emotional shape for the coming days. “New year, new me,” they say.

My sister and I often type up our resolutions on her typewriter. Each December we set it out on the table and add ideas as they come, enjoying their artsy and permanent look on the paper. This year however, I had a little trouble. Every time I sat down hoping to bring the typewriter to life, I drew a blank and walked away feeling discouraged.

A few days ago however, after reading this blog post titled, Set Goals, Not Resolutions, I felt a wave of inspiration. The author points out that a resolution is a promise to do an act of self-improvement, while a goal is an objective a person intends to achieve. In other words, a resolution would be to “exercise more” while a goal would be to “go to the gym 3 times a week.”

As I read through the post, I thought of my compulsive cleaning binge and my crystal clear mirror. That night, after I had showered off the dust and gotten dressed to go to dinner, I noticed that my mirror was once again streaked, almost worse than before I had cleaned it. I shouldn’t have been surprised; I’d chosen a quick fix solution so I’d gotten a quick fix result. This is what we do when we make resolutions. With nothing but vague promises thrusting us into the new year, we are left without a plan of how to keep them, and often lack a complete understanding of what we’re actually looking to do.

I will be the first one to admit that the end of December always shows me the streaks I’ve collected throughout the past year. As I try to see myself and reflect on how to move forward, my vision is always clouded by the disappointments and the obvious improvements to be made. But as I welcome the new year and the unmatched inspiration it provides, I can’t keep looking for the quick fixes. If I really want to work towards achieving the goals I’ve set for myself, I’m just going to have to take those extra trips down the stairs for the Windex and start scrubbing.

17 New Years Resolutions You Should Not Make

We’re all making New Year’s Resolutions. All of us. So don’t try to deny it.

Everyone does it in their own way, whether it’s a quick set of mental checkpoints, or an extravagant list that’s typed, laminated and framed on the wall. We all take at least a split second to think about the year at hand and what we might like to accomplish.

There are no set guidelines for how to make a resolution. They can be simple or complicated, brief or long winded. Making a New Year’s Resolution is like planning what you’re going to eat on Thanksgiving. There are no limits, except for the size of your stomach. Wait, what?

If you’re having trouble making your resolutions this year, allow me to be of service. Here are 20 resolutions that you should not make for 2015.

1) Become a serial killer. (I mean, who has the time for all that planning?)

2) Become a serial killer’s assistant. (If there’s anything worse than being a serial killer, it’s being a serial killer’s bitch.)

3) Boycott Panera Bread. (I’m pretty sure this is a crime in at least 5 states.)

4) Slap yourself in the face every Tuesday.

5) Take more selfies. (Unless you’re adorable middle aged parents, then please continue.)

6) Decide to stop wearing all colors except orange.

7) Change your middle name to “WiFi-Lovin.”

8) Do the Macarena every morning after your alarm goes off. (Too much of a good thing, you know?)

9) Start wearing red overalls, faking an Italian accent and start “rescuing” peaches from supermarkets.

10) Switch vegetables out of your diet in exchange for deep fried twinkies.

11) Change the horn in your car to say “Gangnam Style” every time you honk and then swerve around people pretending to ride an invisible horse.

12) Start using “your”, “you’re”, “there”, “their”, and “they’re” however you want. (You demented animal.)

13) TYPE ONLY USING CAPS LOCK AND MAKE ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS NERVOUS THAT YOU HAVE ANGER ISSUES.

14) Meet 100 guys named Rick. (That’s really out of your control.)

15) Become a mailman, purposefully mix up everyone’s mail and send humanity into chaos.

16) Superglue a pen to your palm so you’ll always have one handy. (HA.)

17) Steal someone’s phone and change the name of every contact, “Guess Who.” (That’s just mean.)

I say just stick to eating healthy & staying positive. Happy New Year!