humor blog
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When Your Brother Plays Lacrosse…
I have a very sports oriented family. We’ve all played a sport, and we all love getting together to watch sports. Any sport. Baseball, football, basketball, hockey, soccer, golf, you name it. “Lacrosse.” What? “Lacrosse,” my brother, Troy, said after school one day, “I’m going to try out for the lacrosse team.” Oh. My mom, Continue reading
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If I Were On the Bachelor
Like most contestants, I’d go into the process optimistic, naïve and dangerously in debt from all of the evening gowns I purchased to drink wine and cry in. On the first night, I’d get out of the limo without any shenanigans. I’d decide it was silly for me to wear a Ghostbusters costume or fly Continue reading
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(Figuratively) Cheesy Gift Ideas for Valentines Day
Growing up, my parents were never big on celebrating Valentines Day, which, in turn, rubbed off on me. I get the hype however, the grand gestures and big confessions and all that. I understand the courage that comes alongside enormous teddy bears and cheesy balloons. But I also understand my parents’ theory, and I whole-heartedly Continue reading
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How to Use these Emojis
This past December Apple released some revitalized, and some brand new emojis, many of which may have left you scratching your head. What context would I even use this in? Enter me, stage right. I’m here, I have advice, let’s get to it. Here’s how to use these 10 emojis: “Female/Male Sleuth” This one can be Continue reading
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If I Were on Dancing With the Stars
I know what you’re thinking. All of America would be thinking it too. But don’t worry, it would be the first thing I’d say in my bio reel. “I know I’m not a ‘star.’” I would mean for it to come off light and airy. A way of immediately calling attention to the elephant in Continue reading
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My Top 5 Christmas Playlist Staples (List-cember #1)
Greetings friends, family, and December! I come bearing (at least what I consider to be) fun and exciting news! Today marks the official start of List-cember a.k.a a December dedicated to lists. Why? Quite simply because I have a lot of list-y things to say this month. Here are the logistics: Every week on Monday Continue reading
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Songs Taylor Swift Wrote About Me (And You)
In light of her performance in Austin this past weekend, and the 10-year anniversary of her first album marked yesterday, it has been widely speculated that Taylor Swift will drop a Beyoncé-esque surprise album to celebrate. And while I’m not one to dig through statements made and necklaces worn to try and find clues for Continue reading
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Toothless, Topless Dreams
I don’t know what it is about me, but I have Weird. Ass. Dreams. We’re talking, “hey Kim you should really get this checked out by a trained professional, or have someone you trust watch to see if you unconsciously take acid after you fall asleep” type of dreams. But not to worry, a few Continue reading
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Words I Made Up (feat. shoxigen)
Being a creative type, sometimes almost to a fault, I tend to like to make stuff up. Whether that be a new craft, a new snack, or most commonly, a new turn of phrase. I love finding my own way to describe things because it’s often the only way my crazy, weird brain can truly Continue reading
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A Literally Sick Rap Song (feat. Tupac & Dr. Dre)
So I’ve been sick the last couple days and have been a riot for company. Honestly I don’t know how my sister has handled all of my sitting and snotting and groaning. WHAT FUN. That being said, in the moments when I’ve felt a little better, I made something possibly disgraceful and undoubtedly stupid in Continue reading
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